somehow

i thought we should be grownups by now.
but instead i find hidden secrets and lies at every turn
i don't know who to trust
when your own family pledges love
and cuts down the ones you believe in
who is the right one
and who is the believer.

i thought by now i'd grown a thick skin
but useless defending only wears me down
and yet, you know just the way to twist the knife
and still, i let you give me the blame
and even more i grow to never know you
and somehow it was all me.

but still, somewhere i find a shred
of remembrance that truth was there
and still, somewhere i can't let it go
though it would be so much easier to
stop the caring
and yet, i know that wouldn't be me.

therefore, i still believe.