jonah

i never wanted to return to the place.
i cut myself from the branch of my tree
and planted myself in soil far from my beginnings
and cursed the seed that bore me.

i never wanted to remember
i saw no need to understand my race
and i didn't care to empathize with the people
of the place that broke my father.

i never wanted to care
i hardened my heart and never looked back
for fear the evil behind me would turn me to salt
i named the place i went to righteous, and never went home.

but i remember
i can still plainly see the look on his face when you tore
away his hope
i can still remember what i wore that day, the day he
began his dying
i remember thinking you foreign and strange
when the people i thought were my own
turned away their eyes
and covered their ears
and never spoke of us.

those people of the place
those people who said we had no home
those people who sent us away to roam
you're floating away
your bloated remains causing a stench to fill the air
and i'm still trying not to care

but still, my single branch has no roots
and i find myself, without my permission, returning there
in my minds eye i see the light that should be there
i see the hope he had for you, the place from whence he came
you said i wouldn't remember
that i was so young, and i'd forget
but i can trace the outlines of your face
even now
and i'm still filled with regret for what you gave away.

i am jonah, and i was born in ninevah
i am of the place.
we left all that was known to find us a home
and now, it's floating away.

but i remember more than the pain you caused
i remember more than your foolish words
i remember the tears he cried for you
i remember the prayers he prayed for you
i remember that you have a name
and a place
and when the waters recede
the curse is paid

people of the place
do you want to remember? or are you content to
forget the slavery that was beaten, the fears that
were overcome
the victories that were lost with selfish blood
have you sold all your children?
have you forgotten your name?
do you still carry the burdens of the place from whence
you came?

i am jonah, and i was born in ninevah
calloused and stupid and fearful am i
but he paid a lot for your hope
so i will remember. and maybe, learn to care.
i still don't want to go home
i'd rather roam.
but maybe, someday, i'll tell the stories there
and you'll remember that you were made to stand tall
and you were given a bright light.