the place we came from has nearly burned to the ground. all the old neighborhood haunts feel like a ghost town. you can see the memories pass through the empty halls, and it makes you wonder if you were really there, or did you dream it all?
but the beauty never fades, even when in the memory it is misplaced.
i remember that one time, when we drove in the rain and it was so quiet. the peace came down with every drop and i remember hoping that when i left the momentary sanctuary the cares of life would not return. i was so old when i was younger... my bones would ache and my mind was weak and i always had a funeral to go to. i wore the world heavily on my shoulders. the sharpness of my cynical thoughts would tear anyone to pieces who stood there long enough to bear my gaze, and i rarely left the dead horse alone.
i think the fear of feeling had worked its way to the depths of me, like a rheumatism for the young and frequently disappointed.
you know, somewhere on my porch you can still find the ashes we left behind when you once again told me that i'm not insane, and one day i would feel the wind beneath my feet. i wanted to believe.
i think i'm quite lucky. not many souls have so many to walk the path with, and i have found those who will not doubt me. and when you do, i remember the days behind us and all the path we've cleared. i'll take my chance and forge ahead to places unknown. and when we learn how to fly, i won't even miss the weeds.
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8 comments:
When's the last time you've gone "home"? Those places you speak of, the ones where you had to have been younger than the age of ten. There's a few of those that I have visited recently, it takes you through an interesting process,...one I believe, many should go through. There is also a few more that I have not visited and soon, I will take that time and do so.
That is so beautiful it makes my heart ache. I miss you very much.
this actually was metaphorical. i wasn't writing about physical places, though what i was writing about did happen in physical places.
i've been so many places that sometimes when my heart has that ache, i can't remember where i was the last time i had it.
though i do plan on sometime going "home", i'm just not quite brave enough to do it yet.
I knew it was metaphorical,...not to mention absolutely beautiful. But for some reason, it also brought that question to mind. Not sure why? And fully knowing that it didn't really fit, I felt compelled to ask:).
P.S If you ever need an extra hand while visiting "home", Ben and I are there for you. Although, I'm not sure how you'll be able to hold all those hands:)
(But your creative,...you'll think of something,...you always do).
ask away when compelled, just know sometimes i'm slow on the uptake and everything will need to be slowly and gently explained to me:)
thanks muchly for the offer. i hate having people see me being vulnerable... but i have to say i've noticed it happens with or without my permission lately.
so much for being the immovable stone.
You only thought you were an immovable stone :)
details, shmetails.
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